Once you’ve chosen your date, your wedding party, your location, your dress, your colors, your flowers, your menu, your officiant, it’s likely that you’ll be asked if you’re changing your name. For some new brides it’s a deeply personal decision that takes a good deal of deliberation. For others, it’s a no brainer–they’ve known for some time that they’ll either take on their now husbands’ last name, hyphenate their own, or for some that they’ll both hyphenate and both take on a new last name.

If you’ve chosen to change your last name and take your husband’s, Miss Now Mrs. is an on-line service that makes the process easy. You pay about $30 and spend a bit of time to officially change your name on all legal documents. Take a look, it might be the perfect one-stop-shop for changing your name!

No matter where you’re getting married or how many guests will join you on your day, creating a wedding web site will be helpful in communicating necessary information to everyone. Here’s some tips on what to include:

• Your registry information~Although a number of traditional etiquette rules have been bent over the past few years, it is still not appropriate to add where you’re registered to your wedding invitation or save the date. You can, however, list this information on your web site.
• Transportation information~Your out-of-town guests will appreciate knowing which airport to fly into, how to get from the airport to your wedding location and/or their hotel and if you’re providing any transportation to and from the ceremony and reception.
• Lodging and hotel information~Offering ideas for lodging accommodations will be appreciated. Be sure to list a few different options and price points and describe a bit about the facility and where it is in relation to your ceremony and/or reception location.
• RSVP~You may not need it at the time you create your site (hopefully just after you decide on a date and location), but etiquette these days allows you to collect RSVPs on-line and if you choose do so, there’s no better place than on your web site.
• Tips~If you’re getting married in Colorado, be sure to alert your guests to the challenges (if we can really call them that) such as our hot sun, altitude and dry climate. This information will be necessary for young and old alike.
• Fun bits~Keep in mind that inevitably each guest will know one of you more than the other. Take advantage of the site to share a bit about yourselves, how you got engaged, the latest developments in your plans, bits and pieces about your wedding party, whatever fun snippits you think might be of interest.

If you haven’t already created a site, Wedding Wire and Wedding Paper Divas are just a couple of many companies that offer free sites and easy set-up. Now, go forth and create!

Congratulations on your engagement! If you or your friends and family are planning an engagement party, here’s a few tips:

• Although engagement parties are traditionally thrown by the bride’s parents as a chance to bring both families and groups of friends together, anyone close to the couple can throw the party. It might even be fun to host your own party at which you announce your engagement. A surprise always makes for an exciting affair!
• Traditionally, a couple wanted to be sure that anyone invited to the engagement party was also on the guest list for the wedding. Depending on your wedding plans, this may still be true. However, as so many people have very small weddings or hold their ceremonies at far away destinations, the engagement party is becoming an accepted way to include those who will not be able to attend the wedding in celebrating with you.
• Although it’s not customary for guests to arrive at an engagement party with gifts, it is inevitable that some will arrive with presents in hand. Because of this, it will be helpful to your guests if you register for a few basic items and alert your host to where you’re registered. Do not, however, print the registry information on the invitation.
• There are few rules about the type of party to throw. Choose a theme, location, food, look and feeling that fits the two of you. It could be a fiesta, a wine and cheese party, a BBQ or just desserts. No matter what theme you choose to incorporate, be sure to make yourselves available for your guests to chat. They’ll be eager to congratulate you in person. It might be smart to station yourselves in a certain area of the party location and will definitely require considering the size of your guest list in proportion to the length of the party.

Enjoy the party, it is the first of a string of celebrations leading up to your big day!

Ideally, we would all send out a thank you note immediately upon receiving the gift.

However, the ideal is not always realistic. Realistically, etiquette guidelines state that you have 3 months to send out thank you notes for your wedding gifts.

I know you’ve heard it before, but if you write a few at a time you’ll be less overwhelmed, be more apt to write personal messages and be less likely to pull an all-nighter or spend Saturday at the kitchen table as you approach 3 month mark.

Need help getting organized and figuring out how to track who gave what? Give Talia Events a call; we’ve got some ideas.

photo from Martha Stewart Weddings

In order to save green and be more green, couples are opting to collect their RSVPs on-line as either an e-mail or through their wedding web site. It’s a great idea and, from an etiquette standpoint is a fine alternative to the traditional paper RSVP card, accompanying envelope and pre-paid postage. If you’re thinking of choosing this environmentally-friendly option to collect your RSVPs, keep in mind a couple of things:

• Despite getting the “ok” from etiquette experts, you still want to be discreet in how you mention the process on your invite. Think small and sweet or, include a small card (the size of a business card will work) in each envelope instructing guests how to reply.
• If any of your guests are over 70 or simply don’t use the computer, keep in mind that it will difficult if not impossible to follow your instructions. You may need to give these individuals a call; don’t leave it up to them to try and figure out how to send in their RSVP.
• Your invitation sets the tone for your wedding. If the invite and RSVP process are casual, it is fair that your guests will assume the entire affair follows suit. If you want formal attire, but are opting for an e-mail or on-line RSVP, you will need to clearly state this desire.

Whether on-line or traditional paper, collecting RSVPs can be a challenge. Talia Events is happy to collect and organize your replies, just give us a call to find out more.

RSVP card from Stelie Designs

“Do you play a lot of interference?” a friend asked me the other day. I didn’t understand at first what she was referring to, but after receiving a blank stare in response she elaborated and asked more straightforwardly if I spend a lot of time “standing between” brides, grooms, their parents, aunts, uncles, grandparents, clients’ loved ones.

It’s true that part of what I’m there to do is to provide couples with someone to blame for the choices they in fact want to make, but in doing so will disappoint their future family members or close friends. Still, it’s always helpful if the couple is also addressing their concerns throughout the planning process.

With any of Talia Events’ packages I’m happy to help and make suggestions about how you can diffuse a tough situation with a loved one. Here are a few tips to get you started:

• Remember that more often than not the suggestions are coming out of love and concern for your well-being and happiness. And, on the flip side, just because that’s the case, doesn’t mean you have to agree with them or incorporate the suggestion. Your wedding is a great time to exercise setting your boundaries—those muscles will be that much stronger when Mom and Dad or in-laws visit you in your home, share ideas on how to raise your children, train your dog or deal with the piles of laundry after your married.
• Those suggestions are also coming out of a desire to get involved and be of use. You may find it helpful to divert the energy toward something that needs to be done. People are appreciative of being given real, valuable projects—it makes all of us feel of use.
• Be honest. Coupling underlying frustrations about a loved one’s response or what you perceive as nagging for the past 6 months with normal wedding day jitters is not exactly what any couple has in mind of their celebration. Be the “adult” and gently, but clearly state what it is you need before the bottled-up frustration becomes a ticking time bomb.

Much of this is common sense and is applicable in many if not all of our relationships. Remember to give yourself and those around you a bit of grace and be clear about what’s most important to you and your fiancé. From there, you’ll be better able to address the situation.

And, feel free to call in Talia Events’ help anytime!