Sal and I spent a long time discussing our wedding ceremony. We felt strongly that it was the reason we were all there and wanted it to reflect our sentiment that everyone in attendance was deliberately chosen to be there not just as a guest, but as a witness to the vows we made.
I have always suggested and moving forward will strongly advise anyone planning their wedding to start planning the ceremony early. Unfortuantely, it’s one of those things that gets pushed to the bottom of the to do list because nothing’s actually “due” to anyone but yourselves. It’s worth spending an evening a few months before your wedding searching through different ceremony programs, readings and perhaps songs to get a sense of what you like.
Even with a high priority on the ceremony, I can attest that it was tough to sit down and do it.
In the end, we decided to have all four flower girls running down the aisle ringing bells to signal the start of the ceremony. They loved it and our guests did too!
I don’t think I’ve ever voiced an opinion about whether or not to take photos before the ceremony, but feel like I would do the day an injustice if I did not do so here. When Sal and I began talking about the schedule of the day with a photographer friend, she asked if we were planning to see each other beforehand. I said, yes and he said no, in perfect unison. Clearly, it was a subject in need of more discussion.
In the end we did see each before the ceremony. If you haven’t heard the term yet, there’s a somewhat new idea in wedding photography of a First Look. Essentially, it’s a semi or fully staged photographed point in the day when the bride and groom see each for the first time. Sometimes, photographers will position the groom with his back to the bride. Sometimes, she’ll blindfold him or cover his eyes. But, always those first few moments together are captured.
For me, the preference to see Sal and taking photographs before the ceremony was only tinted by a reluctance to leave the cocktail reception in order to take pictures. Although that hour with friends and family was treasured. It was more about calming what I knew would be a jumble of nerves and consciously taking a few moments during the course of the day to spend time alone together, in awe of all that had happened thus far and all that was in store.
It was a cherished few minutes, with cameras keeping their distance so we didn’t even think about them being there, to express our love for each other and excitement about the fact that we were about to get married. I think Sal captured it best when he said that although he’d been hesitant at first, it was one of his favorite parts of the day and he was so grateful to have had that time.
As I remember clearly the tears of joy and gratitude that were on the brink of making their way down my cheeks as I walked down the aisle, I can tell you seeing him ahead of time did not dimish the feeling of walking toward my husband.
In tandem with considering what we wanted to say, have read and the overal flow of the ceremony, we also spent a good deal of time considering a ceremony to include as a variation on lighting a Unity Candle or a sand ceremony, neither of which were particularly “us.” My mother actually came up with the idea of building a rock cairn. If you’re not familiar with the term, a cairn is essentially a pile of rocks used in mountainous areas to indicate a trail or path. For us, it signified our familial roots and was a reminder that our families of origin and the one we were about to establish would always serve as a path “home.” Sal’s father laid the first stone representing his family, his mother placed the next, my father the next, my mother the next and finally, Sal and I placed the final stone representing the start of our lives together.
The cairn now sits on our fireplace as a daily reminder of that day and those vows and all that supports us as we live our days together.
location: Planet Bluegrass, Lyons, CO
wedding design and planning: Talia Events
